How do YOU think Heidi Montag looks?

Heidi Montag is writing a movie. Hooray!

Here stands Heidi Montag displaying the back end God definitely did NOT give her.  I think that ass ran her about $5000.00?  Anyhow…

Heidi Montag is writing a movie!!  Yippie!  Just what we all hoped we’d get for Christmas this year… a movie about a real life Barbie doll that wields knives and guns.  Wait, hasn’t that movie been done before?  If it has I’m sure it didn’t suck as much as this one most certainly will. 

"I'm writing a movie right now. It's very action packed," the bikini-clad reality star, 23, told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the opening of the Liquid Pool Lounge at Las Vegas' Aria Resort & Casino.
"It's Bourne-meets-Barbie," adds Montag, referring to Matt Damon's action flicks. Montag would "of course" play the starring role.
"I've trained in knife fighting and guns for over two years with one of the founding members of Saw, [who] was [in] the original Delta Force. So I've been shooting and practicing the whole real-life action figure for years," she said. "So I'm very excited to have action roles."

If Matt Damon were dead… he would turn over in his grave, dig his way out, find Heidi Montag and eat her.  At least which parts of her a zombie would still find palatable.

Heidi Montag shows off her new parts at Liquid in Las Vegas. Yum, couger breath.

Here we have a couple shot of Heidi Montag at the grand opening of Liquid at the Aria Resort in Las Vegas on Saturday afternoon in a tiny little bikini.  She took the opportunity to show off all of her brand new, bought and paid for, body parts… and face.  I think we can all agree that she absolutely does NOT look better than she did before the infusion of silicone onto every part of her body, and soul.  Maybe she could be some kind of super hero… kinda like Wolverine, only instead of adamantium graphed onto her bones, it’s plastic.  And, instead of super human abilities, she could be super pathetic and miserable?  Hmm, maybe I’ll pitch it to Marvel.